so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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