I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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