I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
