when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
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