Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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