Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
