rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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