How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
