You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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