Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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