he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
