Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
