did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize