were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
