i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
