Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
