she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
