It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
