You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
