Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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