I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
