Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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