she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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