why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
sex in a hospital.. check
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
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