Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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