I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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