Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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