How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
