If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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