No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
this boner is exhausting
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Randomize
