do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
