Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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