there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
What drink are we having for lunch?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
