I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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