I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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