Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
