So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize