you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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