Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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