talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
