mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
