idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
You dont lie about slip and slides
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
