Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
