Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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