I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize