Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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