dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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