dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
