you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
