I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Iām not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
