After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize