Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
