When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize