Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
