i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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