he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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