You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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