Where did you get a picture of my penis
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize