Everything about him screamed your future.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize