Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
