OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
